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scallopboy
Gobshite
Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 865
Location: Ulam Bator
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 Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 12:56 am Post subject: Neds Anonymous |
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Thanks to alcohol, I became lucid momentarily this evening and wondered if there is a need for Neds Anonymous in Glasgow. We have Gambler's Anonymous, Alcofrolics Anonymous; so why not Neds Anonymous? I envisage this to be a support organisation to help sufferers recover from their shellsuit addiction in a friendly environment where they can brows catalogues of clothes other than shellsuits and Burberry Baseball caps. Do you think the Millennium Commission might look favourably upon a proposal for funding?
Damn, the alcohol is wearing off...
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Doorstop
Fish supper
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 252
Location: Security on the door to the arse-end of Nihilsville
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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Talking about neds, the bloke who stays above me is an ageing member of that illustrious society. He also is a galloping dipso who has flooded my flat on at least half a dozen occasions over the past year. So when I was flooded again a fortnight ago I decided to let him know in no uncertain terms that next time would be his last time and then reportef him to the council for insurance claim purposes.
Anyway, while I was out at my Pops for Christmas dinner the idiot decided it would be a good idea to rattle lumps out of front door with a golf club whilst shouting at the top of his lungs that he was going to "kill you, ya grassing bastard .. I'll burst you .. naebody threatens me!!" knowing full well there was no-one at home, the case hardened hero that he is.
This plan was flawless apart from one tiny aspect, the aspect of me being dropped off and coming into the close just as he started knocking lumps out my door with aforementioned golf club.
Now, when caught in the act, if you're going to attack me with a golf club then at least make sure you're up to the job and don't end up like a fud on your arse lying on the stairs squealing "Don't hit me!, don't hit me!" surrounded by bits of broken 3 wood.
fecking idiot .. spoiled my Christmas Day that did .. rozzers kept me late for work too.
Made a right bloody mess of my shiny new front door as well ..
.. before I took the club off him and broke it over the side of his nut then bitch slapping him down the stairs.
Still, a night in casualty and Christmas in chokey should tell him something .. charmless nerk. 
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cybers
Sausage supper
Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 762
Location: Livingston
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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Well in there ....
Thought the photy of the lump of wid there was the ned !!!
Never mind i am sure scally could find a use for your damaged door 
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scallopboy
Gobshite
Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 865
Location: Ulam Bator
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| cybers wrote: | | Never mind i am sure scally could find a use for your damaged door |
Burn wid
You realise Mr Doorstop as you left him alive he will probably sue you for having a solid wooden door that gave him repetitive strain injury from whacking with a golf club?
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Fjord
Dodgy Scandinavian
Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 989
Location: Lesjaskog, Norway
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Doorstop wrote: |
Still, a night in casualty and Christmas in chokey should tell him something |
Par for the course I'd say, Hope your door gets better soon  |
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wee minx
Deep fried Mars bar
Joined: 07 Aug 2007
Posts: 1392
Location: Glasgow
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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Jeez, he didnay even fill in his divets! 
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james73
Moderator
Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Posts: 2313
Location: Utopia Planitia
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Doorstop wrote: | Anyway, while I was out at my Pops for Christmas dinner the idiot decided it would be a good idea to rattle lumps out of front door with a golf club whilst shouting at the top of his lungs that he was going to "kill you, ya grassing bastard .. I'll burst you .. naebody threatens me!!" knowing full well there was no-one at home, the case hardened hero that he is.
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Aye, the kant sounds like a real hero. Hope you leathered him one. 
James H
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cybers
Sausage supper
Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 762
Location: Livingston
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:12 am Post subject: |
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| wee minx wrote: | | Jeez, he didnay even fill in his divets! |
 Quote of the week winner that made me laugh out REAL LOUD
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Doorstop
Fish supper
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 252
Location: Security on the door to the arse-end of Nihilsville
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 8:39 am Post subject: |
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Brilliant Guys .. funny, funny comments .. made me smile after another busy night last night.
Minx .. I nearly sprayed my tea and toast all over my keyboard. 
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